Archive for the 'Technology' Category

10
May
09

one day with an iPhone. . .

So my cousin went out and I was stuck in Puyallup, which sucks without the fair (I’m fucking serious). He said I could play with his iPhone. In about 5 minutes, I promptly and accidently fucked it up.

whorse feeder v2

Exclusive screens of my new iPhone app, Whorse Feeder V2 (Version 1 pending) I hope it gets through the app-screening process.

Apparently he used some kind of fake orange thing to put on his T-Mobile SIM card. I updated his iPhone and fucked it up. It’s kind of ironic, since an update is supposed to update not downdate. :( However I managed to put like a shitload of apps. I’m going to review some of them.

PapiJump

Mr. Papi

PapiJump has shit graphics. I’m not kidding.  I guess the guy who made this was like gameplay>graphics. You just jump up. Tilt to turn. However after playing PapiJump for an hour straight. I have to say, it’s fucking addicting. One of the worst things about this game is that it’s so addictive, I might get carpal tunnel.

Another game made by the same guy is PapiRiver, in which Mr. Papi floats down a river it’s basically PapiJump, except he’s going down. How fucking original.

Next I played PapiLand which is basically 3D PapiJump. But there’s a twist! You have to eat hamburgers to pass stages. I don’t think the weight he loses jumping, makes up for all the burgers he eats.

PapiCatch is basically Mr. Papi trying to catch an infinite amount of hamburgers by touch or tilt. The creator is what a creator should be, creative. His games are fresh and new and exciting.

Oh wait there is more originality. There’s PapiMissile where he does not eat hamburgers, and instead shoots missiles at other missiles. :l Oh yeah, there’s 3 Mr. Papi(s) in that game.

Another exiciting game from the creators of all the fucking Papi games is PapiPole, where Mr. Papi stands on a pole and tries to eat hamburgers.

Seriously, Mr. Papi go on a fucking diet, or else your next game will be about losing weight.

Facebook is a pretty cool app, but you can’t play Pet Society on it, and Pet Society is what Facebook was made for, so it kind of ruins the point. :(

I also tried FMyLife(Fuck my life) which is basically the website condensed into a iPhone-friendly app. It’s a great time waster since I wasted 1 hour on it.

Google Earth for iPhone is pretty amazing, but it lags quite a bit. It’s not as amazing as it is on the computer. It needs more amazing.

Heh, I almost broke the iPhone playing BubbleWrap. Too bad I suck at it.

Finally, my favorite game is undoubtly Tap Tap. Tap Tap is like DDR for your fingers. Just like in DDR if you use two dancepads, if you play two player mode as one player, you’re hard to the fucking core. It has pretty trippy graphics too. One of the worst things about this game, is that it has a 3OH!3 song. They’re fucking horrid, but also pretty catchy. I have “shush girl, shut your lips do the hellen keller and talk with your lips” on repeat in my head.

The iPhone is pretty cool I must say. However it’s not that fucking great. iPod touch+Cell phone = cheaper. The only thing I learned is to never trust a ho.

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02
May
09

Miley Cyrus Underwear

davedays

Davedays is so cool.

What’s the first ad that pops up? Miley Cyrus underwear. When I click it, I get this. Wow. :l Miley Cyrus Underwear. You can’t even see Miley Cyrus Underwear. But from there you can buy Hannah Montana underwear from JC Penny and get a fucking credit report.

Wow.

Wow. "Underware"

I would like to see Miley Cyrus Underwear. Those websites have to grammar and vocabulary of a five-year old.

I typed in the url it actually showed (azumano.com). It was a travel website. Way to use an underage girl to attract attention, azumano.com. I hate this type of advertising that tricks you.

This is why AdBlock for Firefox exists. If you don’t have AdBlock you’re lame. Get it here. What I hate more is that AdBlock doesn’t work on these Youtube ads. Why can’t it be at the side, instead of inside your fucking video.

However can block “HIT (celebrity) IN THE (body part) WITH A (“humourous” object) FOR A (videogame console/gadget)”. If you’re paying the money for an ad, at least try to make it good, or original so it can attract the readers attention. :(

I also hate ads that you cannot fucking mute, and ads that autoplay a video, and ads that cover the content. It just repels the reader. Bottom line? Internet advertising is fucking disgusting. At least some TV ads are catchy and entertaining, i.e. Five Dollar Footlongs, Geico.

However back to the main topic.

FUCK YOU YOUTUBE.

The Internet was made for sharing ideas, not making money.

The first time I went on Youtube, I was instantly amazed. I can put videos up for free.

They then sold out to Google. Which was lame, and so not punk. Fuck major corporations.

This company will own you by 2012(End of the World).

This company will own you by 2012(End of the World).

Now they’ve muted every fucking video they have, removed every video that has even a portion of copyrighted material, and added video ads.

I sincerely believe information is for the good of every human. I think all works of culture should be shared, and there shouldn’t be any copyright at all. That system doesn’t work now. Youtube should’ve been bad-ass like The Pirate Bay.

An excerpt from one of them.

“> you also seem to fail to recognise that your web-site is accessible
> all over the world and that, as such, your actions and, furthermore,
> your refusal to act, opens you and your company up to the possibility
> of law suits in – inter alia – the United States and the United
> Kingdom. Such law suits could result in your being refused entry to
> both the US and the UK

Damnit. You got us there. Now I’m so scared I pissed my pants. Where
should I send the invoice for cleaning them?”

GO TPB. FUCK YOU GOOGLE.




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