So my cousin went out and I was stuck in Puyallup, which sucks without the fair (I’m fucking serious). He said I could play with his iPhone. In about 5 minutes, I promptly and accidently fucked it up.
Apparently he used some kind of fake orange thing to put on his T-Mobile SIM card. I updated his iPhone and fucked it up. It’s kind of ironic, since an update is supposed to update not downdate. :( However I managed to put like a shitload of apps. I’m going to review some of them.
PapiJump has shit graphics. I’m not kidding. I guess the guy who made this was like gameplay>graphics. You just jump up. Tilt to turn. However after playing PapiJump for an hour straight. I have to say, it’s fucking addicting. One of the worst things about this game is that it’s so addictive, I might get carpal tunnel.
Another game made by the same guy is PapiRiver, in which Mr. Papi floats down a river it’s basically PapiJump, except he’s going down. How fucking original.
Next I played PapiLand which is basically 3D PapiJump. But there’s a twist! You have to eat hamburgers to pass stages. I don’t think the weight he loses jumping, makes up for all the burgers he eats.
PapiCatch is basically Mr. Papi trying to catch an infinite amount of hamburgers by touch or tilt. The creator is what a creator should be, creative. His games are fresh and new and exciting.
Oh wait there is more originality. There’s PapiMissile where he does not eat hamburgers, and instead shoots missiles at other missiles. :l Oh yeah, there’s 3 Mr. Papi(s) in that game.
Another exiciting game from the creators of all the fucking Papi games is PapiPole, where Mr. Papi stands on a pole and tries to eat hamburgers.
Seriously, Mr. Papi go on a fucking diet, or else your next game will be about losing weight.
Facebook is a pretty cool app, but you can’t play Pet Society on it, and Pet Society is what Facebook was made for, so it kind of ruins the point. :(
I also tried FMyLife(Fuck my life) which is basically the website condensed into a iPhone-friendly app. It’s a great time waster since I wasted 1 hour on it.
Google Earth for iPhone is pretty amazing, but it lags quite a bit. It’s not as amazing as it is on the computer. It needs more amazing.
Heh, I almost broke the iPhone playing BubbleWrap. Too bad I suck at it.
Finally, my favorite game is undoubtly Tap Tap. Tap Tap is like DDR for your fingers. Just like in DDR if you use two dancepads, if you play two player mode as one player, you’re hard to the fucking core. It has pretty trippy graphics too. One of the worst things about this game, is that it has a 3OH!3 song. They’re fucking horrid, but also pretty catchy. I have “shush girl, shut your lips do the hellen keller and talk with your lips” on repeat in my head.
The iPhone is pretty cool I must say. However it’s not that fucking great. iPod touch+Cell phone = cheaper. The only thing I learned is to never trust a ho.