How I get hits

Most of my posts get zero views a day.

Some of them get one view or two views, probably by luck.

But the post that gets almost all of my hits is simply titled “Ash Ketchum”

People get to my Ash Ketchum post through the search engine in the upper right hand corner of the screen, searching some normal things, and some very strange things. People get to my blog searching for:

“Ash Ketchum” – Not too strange to be searching Ash Ketchum. Maybe you’re a little kid whose a big Pokemon fan, this search term is fine and I get a lot of hits from it.

“Heart Gold Screenshots” – Always a lot of excitement when a new Pokemon game is coming out. I mean, who doesn’t want a little preview of a game they’re excited for? Got a few hits from this.

“Ash Ketchum Naked” – This is where things get weird. I have no idea why the hell they’re searching this on WordPress of all places. I’m also not sure why the hell they’d like to see the constantly high asexual 10 year old without clothes on. He hasn’t even hit puberty yet you sick fucks. I got far too many hits from this search term.

“sexy naked pokemon pics of misty dawn” – Self explanatory, only 1 hit from this. (phew)

“may misty dawn” – I’m not sure what to think of this one, it could be innocent, or it could be a search for porn. Only 2 from this.

“pokemon porn” – What a straightforward guy, the man who searched for this knew exactly what he was looking for. But he didn’t find it. I feel bad for him.

“Naked Ash Ketchum” – Imagine how many hits I would get if there were actually pictures of Ash Ketchum naked. I’d be like Cracked, except with naked little boys!

Only one search term had nothing to do with Pokemon, that was “fucking jc penney.”

I’m really curious about why this guy hates JC Penny. I probably won’t be able to sleep tonight. It’s fucking keeping me up.

Not so much of a humor post today, I’ll have something better tomorrow, just thought it was kind of weird that 99% of people get to my blog searching for naked 10 year old Pokemon masters.

I’m off to go watch Mulan II again, it really helps when I want to vomit everything I’ve eaten for the past month out on the floor, very bad movie.

But it’s cool, Mulan I takes Mulan II and hits it in the balls with a sledgehammer while boiling it in a pot of its own tears.

Enough is enough,

-x_____________ out






3 Responses to “How I get hits”

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