08
May
09

Being Native American… (Read Being Korea First)

I’m Korean.

I can’t ask girls out for my life and even if I could, talking to them would be like taking my foot, shoving it in my ear and hopping around in

Better than asking girls out

Better than asking girls out

an erupting volcano.

I seriously wish my brother hadn’t pissed off that fucking volcano god.

My brother was driving his toyota down the street and some jackass cut him off. When my brother drove by the car, he flipped the driver off. The driver rolls down the window, holy fuck, it’s the volcano god, driving a Hummer H3. He thought he was going to get his ass kicked, but instead, the volcano god told every single fucking volcano to fuck us up every time we asked a girl out. That applies to all Koreans.

Yes, even you

Yes, even you

Korean people do make great boyfriends, though. Just watching how my brother treats girls makes me wonder why girls aren’t coming from all over the nation to ask me out or just give me a high five.

Hm… He actually only had to ask out one girl in his life, that one was hard for him. He hid his number in a book he asked her to help him find (she worked at Barnes and Nobles).

I wanted to use something nerdier to ask a girl out, like this nerdy crap I don’t understand:

01010111 01101001 01101100 01101100 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100111 01101111 00100000 01101111 01110101 01110100 00100000 01110111 01101001 01110100 01101000 00100000 01101101 01100101 00100000 00101010 00101010 00101010 00101010 00101010 00111111

Gets you rejected in a second, no more volcano hoppin for me.

But here are ways I’ve seriously considered asking a girl out through:

  • A code of my invention
  • A really long and complicated scheme that would mess up at some point and I would need to ask her out on my own
  • An anonymous love note
  • A bear with chainsaws for arms

I really don’t think these things will get me rejected, though. You know why? Since everyone that goes to an APP school is automatically a nerd. It doesn’t matter if you pee money and wipe your ass with Benjamins, wear the nicest clothes ever, flirt with all the girls or anything like that. You’re here, you’re a nerd for the day, the week, the month and the rest of the year. If the math classroom has Pokemon drawn on the whiteboard, you go to a nerd school. If people have over 100% in math, you’re in a nerd school. If  you are a nerd, you’re in a nerd school.

What a NERD

What a NERD

How did I get so distracted from my original topic?

Hyukminn will teach me about girls, right?

Right?

SNAKKEEEE?

-I guess I’m Otacon today

DongSaeng out

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2 Responses to “Being Native American… (Read Being Korea First)”


  1. 1 Bryan
    May 8, 2009 at 8:38 pm

    lol, binary

    also, we have brawl tourney sign-ups on our board, which makes us cool

    app isn’t that nerdy…

  2. 2 nicky
    May 9, 2009 at 8:56 am

    the binary says Will you go out with me *****?

    Im so unkorean
    The girl i just asked to the boat gave my ask out a grade of 95

    APP isnt that nerdy, there are just a few nerds that somehow make everyone seem like a nerd
    Like me drawing pokemon on the whiteboard every day :)

    Okay this is what you do
    you get ANIMAL CROSSAN
    one of her friends gets her ANIMAL CROSSAN TOO
    YOU BECOME ANIMAL CROSSAN FRIENDS
    THEN YOU GO TO HER TOWN AND MAKE EVERY ANIMAL SAY I LOVE YOU AS THEIR CATCHPHRASE AND MAKE THEM NICKNAME HER BEAUTIFUL AND DIG HOLES AND PLANT FLOWERS IN THE GROUND IN THE SHAPE OF HEARTS AND SEND HER A LETTER SAYING WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME WITH A FRUIT ATTACHED


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