05
May
09

Mustache Power!

Mustaches gotta be the greatest things in the goddamn planet.

Mustache sharper than a swordfish; swordfish should be renamed stachefish.

Mustache sharper than a swordfish; swordfish should be renamed 'stachefish'.

You know he would just look plain silly without that massive stache of his. Although, if he did shave, he could be a contender for “manbearpig” due to his extreme amounts of body hair. (Look at his neck/chest, and no that’s not a black turtleneck).

All the coolest people have mustaches, for example, Santa Claus is one of them. Do you know who Santa would be if he didn’t have a mustache? He would be cupid. A fucking adolescent exhibitionist, who stalks people and shoots them whenever he feels like it. Nude stalker=bad.

Thats right, its Santa in his classic pimp attire.

Thats right, it's Santa in his classic pimp attire.

Pretty much everything about staches is great, this is including, but not limited to having really corse and rough pube-like hair under your nose and over your lip. Of course this topic of mustache appreciation is not just for guys. Ladies throw away them razors, and let it grow! Indeed, if you choose to grow a mustache you can become as sexy and appealing as this famous female sex-symbol shown below.

Prince: The sexiest lady of the 80s.

Prince: The sexiest lady of the 80s.

In conclusion, grow, grow, grow until it gets to Mario mustache caliber, then fuck that shit and make it 100,000 times better.

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