FEMA – What the hell does that stand for?

Note: I seriously do not know what FEMA stands for and I have not looked at more than the front page of both of their websites. What a rant this will be. ;D

Recently, a good friend of mine sent me something about FEMA,

He gave me this link:


Feel free to click it, I did, but I was quite disappointing. I loved all the bright colors, but when I saw the big logo that said “FEMA for Kids”, this conversation ensued:

I think this is what FEMA is

I think this is what FEMA is

me: FEMA for kids?
What is this shit?
Kaizilla: yup
me: I’m a man
Kaizilla: even better
Well, it makes it easier
me: Men like a challenge
I was angry, I wanted something better and more challenging than this wimpy ass kids version of whatever FEMA is. So, my friend followed up wtih straight up, fema.gov
This version was even worse. There were no pictures and I really, really did not want to click anything that site had to offer. But suddenly, an idea sprang into my head. I clicked the address bar and quickly typed in:
I assumed this would lead me to the men version of FEMA. A challenging version of whatever the hell I was supposed to be looking at, with pictures and lots of bright colors. But no, instead I got “Cannot Find Server”

Then again, it could be this

Then again, it could be this

Most dissapointing day ever.
FEMA.MEN was supposed to be like the light at the end of the tunnel. After looking at the front pages of both FEMA for Kids and FEMA, I felt like I was about to throw up. Then, the idea came, I typed FEMA.MEN into the address bar, suspense was building. And bam! Nothing.
No one else should have to go through something like this, so I’ve taken the liberty of listing some things you might have found on FEMA.MEN, if it existed.
  • Tornados
  • Cole Train
  • Bears with chainsaws for arms
  • Guns
  • Porn
  • Educational Activities Screw that, hot girls
  • A great place to hang out with other manly men and protect the environment kick ass

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