100 Pick-Up Lines for the Lonely Lover’s Soul

Credits goes to the guy who invented pick-up lines, and the guy who invented love, and the guy that invented sex.

These are cheesy, nasty, and lame. Plus they are 93.5% stolen. READ AT YOUR OWN CAUTION!

  1. If you were Sprite, I’d obey your thirst.
  2. Pokémon:Like an Umbreon, I evolve at night.
  3. Pokémon:I just want to Pik-A-Chu.
  4. Pokémon:My Kadabra used Future Sight and it looks we have a future together.
  5. Pokémon:If I were a Nidoking, you would be my Nidoqueen.
  6. Pokémon:If I were a Clefairy, I’d Double-Slap that ass.
  7. Pokémon:Hello, I’m from Team Rocket, and I’m here to steal your heart!
  8. Pokémon:Wynaut go out with me?
  9. Pokémon Classic Style: If you were a Pomon, I’D CHOOSE YOU!
  10. You have 206 bones in your body, would you like another one?
  11. Are you wearing space pants? Cause your ass is out of this world.
  12. Are you Crayola? Because you color my world. (LOLREPEAT)
  13. You are sweeter than 3.14
  14. You must be a parking ticket because you have fine written over you.
  15. Do you work at Subway? Cause you just gave me a foot-long.
  16. Did you just fart? Cause you just blew me away!
  17. Stolen from the Office.
    ** Angela goes through a box, looking for something **
    Andy: Are you looking for dinner and a movie? Cause it’s not in the box.
  18. If I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head?
  19. Do you work for UPS? Cause I saw you checking out my package.
  20. : My name isn’t Luna, but I definitely know how to Lovegood!
  21. Hagrid’s not the only giant on campus if you know what I mean.
  22. Do you have a mirror in your pants, cause I can see myself in them.
  23. There’s something wrong with my phone. Your numbers not in it.
  24. I’m good at math. U+I=69
  25. You must be a broom, because you swept me off my feet.
  26. I’m like a Rubik’s cube, the more you play with me, the harder I get.
  27. Are your words on paper? Because that’s what I call fine print.
  28. I’m glad I brought my library card because I am checking you out.
  29. Are you a terrorist? Cause you DA BOMB!
  30. Were you arrested earlier? It’s gotta be illegal to look that good.
  31. I lost my teddy bear, would you sleep with me?
  32. You’re so sweet, I could get a cavity.
  33. The only reason I would kick you out of your bed is so that I can fuck you on the floor.
  34. You have nicer legs than an isosceles right triangle.
  35. If I told your tits were big, would you hold it against me?
  36. If your left leg was Thanksgiving, and your right was Christmas could I visit in between the holidays?
  37. People call me _______ but you can call me tonight.
  38. You be the Dairy Queen and I’ll be your Burger King: You treat me right, and I’ll do it your way.
  39. Classic: Do you want to have sex?
  40. Are you free tonight or will it cost me?
  41. If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same answer as the answer to this question?
  42. Are you a tamale? Because you’re hot.
  43. Nice fucking weather. Want to?
  44. YOU:Can I get directions?HER:To where? YOU:To your heart.
  45. I’m no Fred Flintstone, but I could make your bed rock.
  46. If this bar is the meat market, you must be the prime rib.
  47. Do you know karate? Because your body is kickin’.
  48. You’re so hot, the sun is jealous.
  49. I’ve got a condom with your name written on it.
  50. I’m an organ donor, need anything?
  51. The CIA wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?
  52. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again.
  53. Can I have fries with that shake?
  54. YOU:Wanna come over for sex and pizza?HER:No.YOU: What? You don’t like pizza?
  55. Is your dad a baker? Cause you have some nice buns.
  56. I want to rosin your bow.
  57. I’m writing a phone book. Could I have your number?
  58. Your boyfriend tells me that you’re great in bed.
  59. You know how they say skin is the largest organ? Not in my case.
  60. Baby, let’s play Titantic. You can be the iceberg, and I’ll be the boat that goes down on you.
  61. Do you know CPR? Because you take my breath away.
  62. You+Me. Minus Clothes. Divide Legs. Multiply.
  63. Have I introduced you to my friend, Mr. Harry Dick?
  64. Did you come from the zoo? Because you bring you the animal in me.
  65. You remind me of a compass because I’d be lost without you.
  66. You can fall off a building, you can fall out a tree, but baby, the best way to fall is in love with me.
  67. If you were a door, I’d bang you all day.
  68. Is it hot in here or is it just you?
  69. If you were my homework, I’d spread you out on the table and do you.
  70. Roses are #FF0000
    Violets are #00FFFF
    All my base
    Are belong to you.
  71. You must be very tired, because you’ve been running through my mind all day.
  72. Your place or mine?
  73. Excuse me, can I have some sex, in exchange for sex?
  74. I must be a snowflake because I’ve fallen for you.
  75. A/S/L ?
  76. You made floppy disk turn into a hard drive.
  77. Hi, I like your butt, could I wear it as a hat?
  78. What’s cookin’, good lookin’?
  79. I’m like Domino’s Pizza. If I don’t cum in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
  80. I envy your lipstick.
  81. What do you want for breakfast?
  82. They call me “coffee”. I grind so fine.
  83. Can I read your T-Shirt in braille?
  84. You make me crescendo.
  85. You’re so hot, your ass is on fire.
  86. I’m writing my  term paper on the finer things in life, and I was wondering if I could interview you.
  87. You’re the marshmallows in my Lucky Charms.
  88. If I’m a pain in your ass… We can just add more lubricants.
  89. I lost my penis, could you help me find it.
  90. Is your name Gillette, because you’re the best a man could get.
  91. Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date?
  92. Why don’t you come over and sit on my lap and we’ll talk about the first thing that pops up?
  93. I’ll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.
  94. Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
  95. So, come back to my place, and if you don’t like it I swear I’ll give you a full refund.
  96. You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.
  97. Can I see your tan lines?
  98. Help the homeless. Take me home with you.

    Can you pull it off?

So now, I have lost faith in humanity, because pick up lines do not work. I usually don’t like XKCD but.

That is how I sincerely feel.

Since pick-up lines don’t work, you might as well learn how to hide your boner.

I’m sorry if I offended anyone. Good night,Vietnam.


7 Responses to “100 Pick-Up Lines for the Lonely Lover’s Soul”

  1. 1 nicky
    May 2, 2009 at 12:24 am

    what about
    you wanna see my pocket monster?

  2. 2 nicky
    May 2, 2009 at 6:41 pm

    the best is the isosceles one

  3. May 2, 2009 at 11:02 pm

    How ’bout this one?

    I put the STD in stud, now all I need is U.

  4. May 4, 2009 at 10:21 pm

    Are you a horse? Cause I want to have sex with you

  5. June 20, 2009 at 10:37 pm

    LOL @ roses are red/violets are blue one…
    that is so nerdy XD

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