Our Dinosaur Lesson

Hey, what’s up?

Here’s my first post and I’ve decided to start with a rant about one of the things I hate so much.

Standing in lines.

The idea of standing in lines was invented by Maximus Tyranius VI, sometime between the beginning of the earth and the present. Now, Tyranius was not actually a person, he was a dinosaur and not just any dinosaur, he was the smartest and most powerful dinosaur ever, which led to him becoming king of the dinosaurs.

Tyranius was the first leader to ever think about his people, and one day, while he was looking out upon his kingdom, he realized something was wrong. Every ice cream stand in sight was completely out of ice cream and only one dinosaur could be seen eating ice cream. One dinosaur, eating all the ice cream? This is sickening! thought Tyranius, taken aback by the horrifying sight. “I must do something at once!”

So he called for an emergency session of Dinosaur Congress. The smartest dinosaurs of the country thought for hours on end but could think of nothing to solve the problem. The session was dismised, but that night, Tyranius could not sleep. He stood at his board with a piece of chalk in his hand, thinking and thinking for hours. When scientists came upon the final product, this is what it looked like:

Except with dinosaurs

Except with dinosaurs

Finally! A breakthrough! The “line” was born!

The dinosaurs all cheered when Tyranius announced his discovery the next day and the rest of the dinosaurs used his invention  from that point on.

Anyone caught not following Tyranius’ rule was to have their head cut off and baked into a dinosaur pie.

I support this. That should still happen.

The moral of the story is: “Stand in line.”

If someone is in front of you, stand behind them. Do not cut to the front. I’ve taken the liberty of listing the only times when you should be able to cut to the front of the line:

1.The girl of your dreams is about to leave at the airport to Paris and you’re stuck in the line to security. Give a heartfelt speech, clapping should ensue.

2. Someone with a gun tells you to.

3. You happen to be the Terminator.

Please, stand in line.



2 Responses to “Our Dinosaur Lesson”

  1. 1 Franklin
    May 1, 2009 at 9:20 pm

    The number one reason why you should cut in a line reminds me of Not Another Teen Movie.

  2. 2 nicky
    May 1, 2009 at 11:02 pm

    …what the fuck is this

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