Welcome to Pokemon FREAKING Tower

I hate Pokemon Tower so much.

I hate Pokemon Masters but loooovee Team Rocket

It’s got ghosts, chanellers and an incredibly pissed off Marowak.

The Marowak lets Team Rocket go right by, not regarding them as intruders. But you, someone who spends more time with his Pokemon than with his mom, cannot be allowed onto the top floor of the freaking tower of Pokemon buried like 5,000 freaking years ago. No, first you need to beat your rival, kick the asses of about 15 chanelers and beat Team Rocket in their fucking casino before you’re  allowed to even challenge the Marowak without your level 100, 12′ 9″ Pokemon who gets scared out of it’s pants without a Silph Scope. That’s why I train my Pokemon to be blind.

When I catch a Pokemon, the first thing I do is stab its eyes out so it won’t get scared of the fucking ghosts. Still, it doesn’t ever work. Even when I force an Abra’s eyes open, just to stab

IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU

them out, it still gets scared. To scared to even use teleport and run away. What the fuck is this shit?

That’s not the only thing about the tower. The dialog spoken by every channeler sounds like the writer decided to take two knifes, stab them into both of his eyes and then bang his fist against the keyboard until it breaks. That’s why it costs $40 for the piece of dialog that each channeler says.

(Not much else to say… I need to play Pokemon Tower more…)

I guess I like stabbing eyes.

-I’m out

(Bad post, sorry… Look at this, instead)

:D This is a terrible book to write

look at these fucking hipsters!

Fashion at it's finest.

Weird.

o-o

I fucking love tumblr.http://www.latfh.com/ i’m looking at these fucking hipsters while listening to the star fucking hipsters. it’s aight. I just noticed i write alot about fashion but i’m not into it. o-o  hyukmin out.

Mustache Power!

Mustaches gotta be the greatest things in the goddamn planet.

Mustache sharper than a swordfish; swordfish should be renamed 'stachefish'.

You know he would just look plain silly without that massive stache of his. Although, if he did shave, he could be a contender for “manbearpig” due to his extreme amounts of body hair. (Look at his neck/chest, and no that’s not a black turtleneck).

All the coolest people have mustaches, for example, Santa Claus is one of them. Do you know who Santa would be if he didn’t have a mustache? He would be cupid. A fucking adolescent exhibitionist, who stalks people and shoots them whenever he feels like it. Nude stalker=bad.

Thats right, it's Santa in his classic pimp attire.

Pretty much everything about staches is great, this is including, but not limited to having really corse and rough pube-like hair under your nose and over your lip. Of course this topic of mustache appreciation is not just for guys. Ladies throw away them razors, and let it grow! Indeed, if you choose to grow a mustache you can become as sexy and appealing as this famous female sex-symbol shown below.

Prince: The sexiest lady of the 80s.

In conclusion, grow, grow, grow until it gets to Mario mustache caliber, then fuck that shit and make it 100,000 times better.

cuchini anti cameltoes

American women are too fucking insecure and too fucking self-conscious. There are over 32,000 boob jobs performed monthly, in 2006. The numbers are just going to rise up.

“Barbie Dolls, 2008
60×80″

Depicts 32,000 Barbies, equal to the number of elective breast augmentation surgeries performed monthly in the US in 2006.

Partial zoom:

Detail at actual print size:
“

Pretty shocking. Stolen from here. You should check it out, it’s pretty cool.

Imagine if everyone of those barbies is a girl who just got a boobjob. TOO FUCKING SELF CONSCIOUS. EVEN HOT GIRLS GET BOOB JOBS.

Some girls even get butt jobs. Plastic surgery really lives up, to the name because it turn you plastic. Even men are getting more plastic surgery. It’s stupid.

Now with all that shit like pube shaving and Brazillian waxing. . .

Naturally, you get cameltoes.

A Camel's Toe

What’s wrong with cameltoes? It’s like having a boner for guys. You don’t have to be that self conscious.

You know what’s up with women? They like to put pads on everything they see, like their vaginas. Now they put pads under their panties. Meet the Cuchini.

Disgusting.

“The Cuchini is a comfortable, light-weight material that adheres to any undergarment (panties, bikini, sports attire, etc).  It smoothes the ridges of a woman’s mons pubis(What the fuck is that?)  area providing a smooth and camouflaged appearance. This eliminates what is commonly known as “Camel Toe.”

The Cuchini products are designed by women to provide comfort and convenience.

As we have evolved, hair down there is a thing of the past.  As the landing strip and Brazilian wax have become prominent in today’s world, there is no bush for the cush. And though Camel Toe may be a  hot topic… it’s not to the gal sporting it!”

The Cuchini Pad

The Cuchini Pad is a product used to smooth the ridges of a woman’s mons pubis area, providing a sleek and camouflaged appearance.  The Cuchini eliminates what is commonly known as “Camel Toe.”

Direction

Place “Cuchini Pad” into bikini, lingerie, or sports attire, narrow side facing down, and adjust to personal preference.  For a more secure placement two-sided tape is included.”

I seriously did not see a difference.

They’re 2 for 15 dollars.

They’re slogan is even “our lips or sealed”. By that I think they mean vagina lips. o-o It’s even called the Cuchini. Is that like cooch in Italian?

I fucking hate society. Look at yourselves.

http://www.cuchini.com/

Being Korean

Hey, sorry there was no post yesterday

I’m a Korean. I love Korea. I love Korean food. I love Korean girls. I love Korea in general. Being Korean is great, it’s a little like, what do you call it, oh yeah,

A coincedence? I think not.

Oh yeah, I also love Starcraft. All Koreans love Starcraft. It’s the national sport there. What do you do if you live in Korea and also hate Starcraft? Simple, don’t live in Korea.

BUILD MORE PYLONS, SON

Hm. So, Korean parents, like all other Asian parents, care so very much about grades. So much, actually, that they seem like pylons, which are basically the foundation of a Starcraft society. To construct anything, you must first consruct those mother fucking pylons.

A+ MOTHA FUCKER

“Ohh… So you want to ‘chill’ with your ‘homies’, eh? WELL CONSTRUCT PYLONS FIRST, DAMMIT!!”

I’m pretty sure my mom said that to be once, actually, except instead of “construct pylons” she said “get your grades up”. See what I mean?

Also, Korean parents seem to lean towards girls a bit more, I don’t know how that’s like Starcraft, unless a girl is represented by an Ultralisk. Backed by the power of two angry Korean parents, you don’t want to mess with one of those.

Being Korean is about as fun as playing Starcraft. Since there aren’t that many Koreans, hanging out with someone who burns with Korean pride makes people feel unique. I bet there are less than 10 Koreans at my school. Half of them are probably boys. So if girls are looking to be original, I’ve got a 1 to 4 chance they’ll ask me out first, sweet.

A Korean girl - don't worry, they get better with age

Yup, that’s right, I want to be asked out by a girl. You see, Korean guys are shy as fuck. They can’t ask a girl out with turning so red, they stop looking Korean and start the Native American flow. That’s the number one reason all the girls we like go off and get hitched with white guys and we get stuck behind sucking dicks in the McDonald’s bathroom, hoping a girl will accidentally walk into the stall and you’ll fall in love. Which of course, never happens because even though girls love McDonald’s bathrooms, they’ll somehow get the idea you’re gay because you’re sucking men’s dicks there.

This is weird to me since even though I do the most retarded things, I can’t talk one-on-one well with any girl except my mom. My mom is not a love interest. Neither is my little sister or any of my older sisters. I can have one-on-one talks with them, but no, when Korean people are  born (anywhere), Kim Jong Fucking Il comes can takes there ability to talk with girls away, you know why? Because he didn’t become a movie director, that’s why. Similar to why Hitler became what he became, he got rejected from art school. Art school, man, chill out, there’s no reason to kill like 10 million people.

Missiles Versus Aliens, Rated G, by Pixar and Kim Jong Il

Just give Kim Jong Il a movie deal! Maybe he’ll stop playing with nuclear bombs and being a dictator and shit. Come to think about it, a movie by him would be great. It would be called “Missile+House” and that’s all it would be for 90 minutes. Film of the fucking year.

Oh wow, look  what happened to the Ultralisk! See? It was just a phase.

Ask me out. Oh yah, you can't, bitch

Hmm.. To finish this post up, lets talk about the name “Chae”, the name given to me by my parents.

Well, it’s a girl’s name.

I think that explains itself.

-Dong Saeng out

Mercy Mercedes – Casio Rodeo review

I usually dislike power pop musically. Every song sounds the same. However it’s pleasing to my non-musically cultivated ears. I go for a little Motion City Soundtrack(Probably because Mark Hoppus is the producer) Pop is catchy, and that’s why we like. The band I’m reviewing is Mercy Mercedes, from whom a  power pop obsessed fanboy that I just happen to know, likes.

Mercy Mercedes sounds like you’re begging a Mercedes not to run you over.

What I though. . .

The band name sounds like Hey Mercedes, but it’s only much worse and uglier too. Hey Mercedes is pretty good, I think this band is not.

"Hey Mercedes(LOL Double Entrende), we're decent looking guys."

Guy in middle is looking at girl at way right's tits.

From left to right.

• 

  Doing It Wrong

  Yellow-haired guy -  Since you look kinda weird, I’m calling you Princess. Stop trying to be “cool”. You’re doing it wrong and trying to hard. No offense, but your facial expression tells me you’re taking a fucking shit. The way you angle your head shows a slight double chin. The peace sign is outdated and lame. Did I mention your hair stinks? Wow, American Eagle, how original. I saw a really fat girl at American Eagle once, and you sorta of look like her. Maybe you are her with crazy plastic surgery(you looked better before :( )Yellow guy, your fashion stinks. The only thing that’s going for you might be your personality. If I was a girl I’d rate you a 69 out of 1 billion.

• Semi-Bald Guy – You look like Justin Timberlake.
  

  This is actually Justin Timberlake. Also voted most stylish man by GQ.

  Don’t take that as a compliment, because it isn’t. Justin Timber is the creator of musically acclaimed albums such as Futuresex/LoveSounds(He’s good at grammar). Let me do a quick review of FutureSex/LoveSounds.

  • FutureSex/LoveSounds
  • He sounds  like a fucking girl. No grown man could make sounds that high. He also has insane lyrical talent, which could only be born from coming out of such a critically-acclaimed band like ‘N-Sync.  He just fucking repeats “what goes around comes around and goes around”. I get the point, Justin.  That is some talent from some genius. He’s also incredibly genius because he dated Britney Spears. Nice “wardrobe malfunction” too. I give this album a mango out of a papaya.

  Going back to you semi-baldy guy, I’m nicking-naming you Sandwich, because I just had a sandwich. However it was not a dick sandwich like you, Sandwich. By the way, why’s bread getting fucking expensive? Your style is the classic “douche-bag” neck. Wearing it just screams DOUCHEBAG!!!! Why’s he smiling? Because 1 from the right guy has his arm on him. But your face is funny, and you have a nice smile. You kinda look like a monkey. I rate you a 6.5 out of donut flash drive.

• Middle guy - You are checking out guy in far right’s junk/tits (what ever you prefer). I’m going to call you Snoopy, because you’re snooping to see his “wild” thang. Here we have a “do ask do tell” policy at PissedOffKorean, so I would like to tell. (I’m not saying being homo/bisexual is a bad thing) As for your hair, it’s parted way too fucking much so you’re doing it wrong. Your shirt is terrible. It looks like a stoned five-year old(don’t give your children drugs) took a fucking white and yellow crayon on black paper, and tried to write MessHead(a shitty t-shit company). I’m pretty convinced with your slitty eyes, and asian-like(NOT ASIAN) hair, you’re trying to be asian. If you’re doing that you are no better than Miley Cyrus. I give you a negative walnut out of a testicle for insulting Asians. If you’re not, you still get that score because I happen to think you’re ugly.
• Bald Guy – You’re bald, and bald is always in fashion. Like Shaolin monks!
  

  Pictured: Baldy's alter ego, Monkman.

  Shaolin monks have pretty good fashion sense. Since you’re bald, I’m nicknaming you Baldy. It’s a pretty good name for a bald person, considering you are bald. You also have your arm around Sandwich/Semi-Bald Guy/Justin Timberlake cosplayer. That’s a personal display of affection or PDA as I like to call it. The affection may be romantic or platonic. It all depends. You have a nice shirt Baldy. The navy blue contrasts with the shininess of your head, because bald people have shiny heads. You also have pointy ears. Maybe I should call you Elf. I rate you a bald head out of 4 bald heads.

• 

  He looks like Batman.

  Aston Kutcher – I was an avid fan of that 70′s show, and looking at this Ashton Kutcher cosplayer has made me want to see this more. Ashton Kutcher has a funny name, like Asher Roth. They should make Aston Kutcher into a WoW town too. It would be awesome, and Fez and the Butterfly Effect guy will be NPCs. Back on topic, this guy is a shittier cosplayer than Sandwich. He barely resembles Aston Kutcher, as he is supposed to be so I’m going to call him that. He also has a douchebag  shirt like Sandwich, except it’s blue which is to color of the ocean, and piss goes into the ocean, so it’s dumb. He also further exemplifies the dumb trait by wearing a Hawaiian necklace, when he is from North Carolina, and the fact that the sharktooth is probably from the ocean and piss goes into the ocean so it’s dumb. His hair also looks like a girl’s pubes. Girls can pull off his hair better than guys can. If I was lesbian, 2 out of the square root of infinite.
  

• The Dumbfuck Photoshop Artist -  You my friend, are a dumbass. The picture is too bright. Why the fuck did you do that? If I get fucking epilepsy, I’m suing your ass. Neon green with pink doesn’t usually match either. Makes it look like a stupid watermelon. Green scanlines, and pink spaint splatter. Is that the best you can do? I seriously hope this isn’t official. Wait! Yes it fucking is. The title is “Let’s Relive the Eighties”.

“December 30, 2007 4:10 PM
awesome pic! it is my computer wallpaper =)”

The pic is her fucking wallpaper. All the comments are stupid too.

That was exactly 1001 words and I said shit about the band. I’m sorry, band. Oh well, the actually factually review will be premiering shortly.

Mercy Mercedes – Casio Rodeo EP.

What's up with the DDR things?Looks like it's made from the same guy who made the picture above. Album Art: 5/10

At first I thought, this album was going to be about graphing calculators, and bulls, but apparently it is not so.

Unrelated

Unrelated

So, Mercy Mercedes hail from Greensboro, North Carolina. They’re like the heroes of the music scene I guess. But are Princess, Sandwich, Snoopy, Baldy, and Aston Kutcher make good pop music? You will find out by the end of the review.

1. Dr. Huxtable – I don’t particularly like this band, but even I listened to it 30 times or so today. I guess it’s very catchy. However, it’s very braggy and boasty as they’re basically saying their musical dicks are two feet long(the size of blink-182′s, radio head’s musically dick is at least 5 feet) which they aren’t. It starts off with two kids saying how good the band is and that’s basically all it says. One of the best tracks on this EP. However the bad part about this song? Nothing to do with Bill Cosby.
2. Shiver Me Timbers – Sounds like a bad All Time Blow song. Not saying ATL is good but . . . Should have more pirate in it.
3. Get It Darlin’ – No one says darlin’ anymore, it’s very outdated, because there are awesomer terms to use. The same is with this song. Easily forgettable.
4. The Perfect Scene – Pretty catchy. This song could easily make them breakthrough and put them on the spotlight. The vocals easily grab your attention, and the chorus is extremely catchy. The chorus has been running rampant through my head all day. Better than any of All Time Blow or other bands are putting out.
5. Here We Are – Loving the acoustic strums. They complement the guy’s voice.
6. Revolution – Shit song means shit to shitty me. Sorry :(

Looking at it as a EP, it’s nothing new, no originality.

They got just signed to the Militia group, so you’ll see them all commercializeeed soon enough. The producer was Paul Levitt who worked with The Hint, Cute is What We Aim For, The Cab, and All Time Blow.

Bottom line, if you like power pop, you’ll love this band. But I don’t so HAH!.

Vocals – 8 Pretty sweet voice actually. Sounds like the guy from Valencia.

Musicianship – 6 They’re okay with the synth, guitar drums bass are lacking though.

Lyrics – 7 Not so bad, but not good.

Originality – 4 NOTHING NEW.

Average = 62.5% or a D-. If you want to read a better and less humorous by Steve Hendereson@ AP.NET click here.

Here’s what FuckThatBand.com have to say.

“

I would rather eat my baby brother for lunch than listen to Mercy Mercedes.

O noes. I hope mom doesn’t read my blog or I will soooooooooooo be grounded.”

??

Dan, you’re too good at spamming like a pro.

How the hell do you do that?

-DongSaeng

Gaming in the Backseat

I am a backseat gamer.

I love to sit behind people and watch them play games.

I love to tell people that they suck at the game and try to get them to stop sucking. Just like what I’m doing right now with my friend William, who is currently sucking ass at Fallout 3.

Boom. Headshot

I don’t think of backseat gaming as a bad thing. Some people can’t perform any tasks in video games, I’m here to help them, tell them how to shoot, tell them how to use VATS, pick things up and how to exit the fucking room they’ve been stuck in for about 10 goddamn minutes.

I’ve had to show people how to open their item menu, how to loot a corpse and how to repair items. It gets so annoying.

“Where do I go next?” – Follow the fucking green arrow

“How do I equip an item?” – Press “B” mother fucker

“Where should I go now?” – Green Arrow, bitch!!

I actually had to clear a whole metro station for William. You know why? It’s because he was too scared of the ghouls living there. He makes backseat gaming so much less fun. It’s not even backseat gaming anymore, he makes

PRESS RIGHT TRIGGER MOTHER FUCKER

me take the wheel, turning the whole thing into just “gaming”.

Even a backseat gamer like me who loves to help other gamers be the best that they can be cannot cope with all these shitty questions. And the thing is, after asking a question, the same question will often be asked a few minutes later, in a different context.

How dah I shoot again?

1) “How do I equip weapons?”

2) “How do I equip my rocket launcher?”

3) “How do I equip my pistol?”

4) “Stop choking me please.”

William has one the best trigger figure out of all of my friends. Still, it takes quite some time for him to learn anything new (he gets about 5 kills per death in Counter Strike Source, but he still only has a 2:1 ratio, started crappy? I think so). Gears of War, Fallout 3, both of them were hard for him to handle even though I was able to pick up both of them quite easily on my first plays.

How do I open my map again?

Autism? No.

Cancer? No.

Stupidity? Perhaps.

Or maybe he’s really smart.  A ploy to stop me from backseat gaming the fuck out of him and instead just playing with him watching.

I mean, I play Fallout really fast and awesome, so it’s understandable. 10mm Pistol+Ghoul’s head.

It’s quite lovely.

My equations are harder. Experimental MIRV+8 nuclear missiles/Power Armor x Altitude= Bloody Mess, without the perk. Delicious.

-Chae out

P.S William will kick your ass at CounterStrike Source, no fucking joke.

asian art bad-ass: Takashi Murakami

He is the artist who made the Kanye West bear, the cover of Graduation(see above), and his trippy website called UniverseCity.(LOL IT'S UNVERSITY)

DISCLAIMER: I KNOW SHIT ABOUT FASHION OR ART

Takashi Murakami is a self proclaimed Otaku(LOL NERD). Murakami is also a contemporary artist. What do you get when you mix those 2 together?

Bad-assery(or is it bad-ass ness?). He kicks ass in a few ways that is not listed in this chart.

He is hella influential in the art scene(He was the only visual artist to make it to the time 100), and created a movement called “superflat“. Superflat is heavily influenced by Anime and Manga(esp. Hayao Miyazaki which created works of testicular art such as Pom Poko).

That may be or not be their ballsacks. More likely the former.

“Murakami’s style, called Superflat, is characterized by flat planes of color and graphic images involving a character style derived from anime and manga. Superflat is an artistic style that comments on otaku lifestyle and subculture, as well as consumerism and sexual fetishism.” from Wikipedia

He takes “low” art and repackages it and sells it to the highest bidder at “high” art auctions such as Christie’s, like Andy Warhol. Now Andy Warhol rates pretty high on the bad-assery scale, he has a cool band named after him(I HOPE THIS IS NOT OUR 15 MINUTES). That’s pretty bad-ass as Murakami’s works are some of the most desired in the world. Pretty bad-ass considering he can make alot of money doing his thang, y’know what I mean. Doing wahhht he lieks and making loadZ of cash money records is bad-ass, dog.

Censored. To get the Uncensored, click here. "My Lonesome Cowboy"

He sold a figure of a anime-syled charecter with blond hair(LIKE SUPER SAIYIN GOKU, YOU KNOW WHAT I’M SAYING?) pleasuring himself (i. e. JACKING THE FUCK OFF), and ejaculating a white lasso like object, holding the rope in the style of a cowboy. You have to see it for yourself. (EXTREMELY NOT SAFE FOR WORK) It was only expected to sell at 3,000,00 to 4,000,000 dollars which is basically 12,000,000 chicken McNuggets. However it sold for a fucking 16,000,000 dollars which is like 64,000,000 Chikin MikuNegetto. Selling a figure of a cumming Goku, which rigid rope-cum for 16 million is bad-ass. The piece is named “My Lonesome Cowboy” which is a very suggestive name. The name’s even bad-ass. Another one is of a female called “Hiropon” which means “I’ don’t know Japanese” in english. This is similiar in style to “My Lonesome Cowboy” and is NSFW too. To view it, click here.

You know what else is bad-ass? Purses. Bitches love purses.

Bitches love the Louis Vuitton.

They especially love Louis Vuitton purses. They’ll love a man who can design Louis Vuitton purses. You know who that man is?

The Straight-Up Motherfucking OG that designs GANG STAR purses?

This Guy.

(I love Blingees, they’re pretty bad ass too. Click here to make a Blingee and here to submit your Emo Blingee in the Best Emo Blingee contest or sign into to the many other Blingee contest like Best Anime Blingee, Best Gangster Blingee, Best Artistic Blingie(Is that an oxymoron?) etc.!)

If I was a girl, I'd want one too.

Hmm, they are nice and quite stylish indeed. He is so bad-ass that people while buy his shit for 5,000 dollars.

Camo is in style. o-o

If you are fashionable and would like to view more purses, click here.

He also redesigned one of Louis Vuitton’s stores. Very recently in fact.

It's a flower!

Panda Panda! Kind of resembles a Pocket Monster.

That looks like a Pocket Monster too.

Now back on his art, I like his art. A lot.

Soccer ball. $400

Army of Mushrooms

Gero Tan-Square

That I May Transcend Time, That A Universe My Heart Unfolds

Takashi Murakami Car

Look it's a Pocket Monster!

One of his exhibits.

All in all he’s a very interesting man, and one of the most influential artists alive.

it’s a rhino

I'm a rhino! Moo! Moo!

Rhinosaurus Rex.

animal hair

I have nothing to say, except for that how do they do that? I don’t get fashion, but I think this is cool, especially the rhino, and moose(or is it elk?). :/

Miley Cyrus Underwear

Davedays is so cool.

What’s the first ad that pops up? Miley Cyrus underwear. When I click it, I get this. Wow. :l Miley Cyrus Underwear. You can’t even see Miley Cyrus Underwear. But from there you can buy Hannah Montana underwear from JC Penny and get a fucking credit report.

Wow. "Underware"

I would like to see Miley Cyrus Underwear. Those websites have to grammar and vocabulary of a five-year old.

I typed in the url it actually showed (azumano.com). It was a travel website. Way to use an underage girl to attract attention, azumano.com. I hate this type of advertising that tricks you.

This is why AdBlock for Firefox exists. If you don’t have AdBlock you’re lame. Get it here. What I hate more is that AdBlock doesn’t work on these Youtube ads. Why can’t it be at the side, instead of inside your fucking video.

However can block “HIT (celebrity) IN THE (body part) WITH A (“humourous” object) FOR A (videogame console/gadget)”. If you’re paying the money for an ad, at least try to make it good, or original so it can attract the readers attention. :(

I also hate ads that you cannot fucking mute, and ads that autoplay a video, and ads that cover the content. It just repels the reader. Bottom line? Internet advertising is fucking disgusting. At least some TV ads are catchy and entertaining, i.e. Five Dollar Footlongs, Geico.

However back to the main topic.

FUCK YOU YOUTUBE.

The Internet was made for sharing ideas, not making money.

The first time I went on Youtube, I was instantly amazed. I can put videos up for free.

They then sold out to Google. Which was lame, and so not punk. Fuck major corporations.

This company will own you by 2012(End of the World).

Now they’ve muted every fucking video they have, removed every video that has even a portion of copyrighted material, and added video ads.

I sincerely believe information is for the good of every human. I think all works of culture should be shared, and there shouldn’t be any copyright at all. That system doesn’t work now. Youtube should’ve been bad-ass like The Pirate Bay.

An excerpt from one of them.

“> you also seem to fail to recognise that your web-site is accessible
> all over the world and that, as such, your actions and, furthermore,
> your refusal to act, opens you and your company up to the possibility
> of law suits in – inter alia – the United States and the United
> Kingdom. Such law suits could result in your being refused entry to
> both the US and the UK

Damnit. You got us there. Now I’m so scared I pissed my pants. Where
should I send the invoice for cleaning them?”

GO TPB. FUCK YOU GOOGLE.

FEMA – What the hell does that stand for?

Note: I seriously do not know what FEMA stands for and I have not looked at more than the front page of both of their websites. What a rant this will be. ;D

Recently, a good friend of mine sent me something about FEMA,

He gave me this link:

http://www.fema.gov/kids/dizkid1.htm

Feel free to click it, I did, but I was quite disappointing. I loved all the bright colors, but when I saw the big logo that said “FEMA for Kids”, this conversation ensued:

I think this is what FEMA is

me: FEMA for kids?

What is this shit?

Kaizilla: yup

me: I’m a man

Kaizilla: even better

Well, it makes it easier

me: Men like a challenge

I was angry, I wanted something better and more challenging than this wimpy ass kids version of whatever FEMA is. So, my friend followed up wtih straight up, fema.gov

This version was even worse. There were no pictures and I really, really did not want to click anything that site had to offer. But suddenly, an idea sprang into my head. I clicked the address bar and quickly typed in:

FEMA.MEN

I assumed this would lead me to the men version of FEMA. A challenging version of whatever the hell I was supposed to be looking at, with pictures and lots of bright colors. But no, instead I got “Cannot Find Server”

Then again, it could be this

Most dissapointing day ever.

FEMA.MEN was supposed to be like the light at the end of the tunnel. After looking at the front pages of both FEMA for Kids and FEMA, I felt like I was about to throw up. Then, the idea came, I typed FEMA.MEN into the address bar, suspense was building. And bam! Nothing.

No one else should have to go through something like this, so I’ve taken the liberty of listing some things you might have found on FEMA.MEN, if it existed.

• Tornados
• Cole Train
• Bears with chainsaws for arms
• Guns
• Porn
• Educational Activities Screw that, hot girls
• A great place to hang out with other manly men and protect the environment kick ass

Peace,

DongSaeng

My Balls

I’m sorry to disappoint any readers there who were looking for a post about my personal genitalia, or sports equipment, but this is about the manga My Balls.

Not what this is about

“The fate of the world rests in one man’s testicles. In a freak sealing accident, the Queen of Terror is sealed into Satou Kohta’s testicles, thus preventing her from reigning destruction onto the world. However, a lesser devil, Elyse, who was with the Queen of Terror on Earth is determined to release the Queen at all costs. The only way to do so is to make Kohta ejaculate, and Elyse only has thirty days to do it.” –Wikipedia

Yes imagine a fully grown demon woman inside your balls. Then, imagine said demon woman slowly coming out of your urethra. *shudders* Painful, but sexy.

Shakespeare got nothin’ on My Balls. If My Balls came out when Shakespeare was around, nobody would go to his plays or read his poems because they would be so hooked on My Balls instead. My Balls are a work of art. Lots of Japanese women pay to see My Balls.

Ball jokes get pretty old pretty quick, don’t they? Let’s mix it up this time!

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Back on topic: Well this manga is pretty good, with ratings going up if you’re a perv. By the way, our number one fan Nicky is the one who told me about this, so give him lots of sex porn.

Ed’s note: To read this extremely exciting and child-appropriate manga, click here.

If we were all Korean rappers…

MC Mong

Tablo

I think I would be MC Mong, the crazy one

Hyukminn would be Tablo, the smart one

And Joe Kickass would be the Wonder Girls

Nuf’ said

-I’m out

Also, stop voting more than once in my poll. It keeps screwing up my results. 5 votes for Umbreon? Seriously, I have a Suicune.

Guess who!