Christmas

Merry Christmas to the 2 or 3 people who ever read this.

I still haven’t gotten off my lazy ass and posted anything good, meaning my 2 or 3 readers has probably dropped to 0 or 1.But OH WELL.

Let me tell you something about Christmas. It’s about giving people expensive gifts.

That’s it.

Some of my quote: “smart friends” (double quote) call this holiday (Christmas, not Chan Ukh Hah) “American Consumerism Day.”

This is why I said quote (actually, double quote). It’s because I was quoting someone. I didn’t actually say they were smart, someone else did (probably another quote: “smart friend” (double quote)) (double parentheses).

These guys are fucking retards.

On every calender, the 25th of December is listed as “Christmas.” (quote) The word “Christmas” (quote) is the correct spelling of the word “Christmas.” (quote) I know for a fact that in America, you spell “Christmas” (quote) “Christmas” (quote).

These quote: “smart friends” (back to double quote) of mine cannot even spell “Christmas.” They’re spelling it “American Consumerism Day.”

Damn, I’m too tired to post.

I’m getting my Jewish friend something.

I’m engraving a baseball bat with “The Bear Jew.”

-Santa

Short Reassuring Post

I’m still here, I’ve just been busy.

This post isn’t here to provide humor or put a smile on your face. It’s only here because I haven’t posted for like 2 weeks.

That’s a long time.

In dog years, that’s about seven millenniums, meaning your dog could die at least five billion zillion times in the time I haven’t posted.

That’s a lot of deaths.

Almost as many deaths as hits I get from “ash ketchum naked.”

Oh! Zing! That’s a good one.

Expect a better post tomorrow, it’s 2AM in Florida and I feel like a goddamn snorlax.

Bout to go catch me some Zs.

Providing I have enough Pokeballs.

-JH

How I get hits

Most of my posts get zero views a day.

Some of them get one view or two views, probably by luck.

But the post that gets almost all of my hits is simply titled “Ash Ketchum”

People get to my Ash Ketchum post through the search engine in the upper right hand corner of the screen, searching some normal things, and some very strange things. People get to my blog searching for:

“Ash Ketchum” – Not too strange to be searching Ash Ketchum. Maybe you’re a little kid whose a big Pokemon fan, this search term is fine and I get a lot of hits from it.

“Heart Gold Screenshots” – Always a lot of excitement when a new Pokemon game is coming out. I mean, who doesn’t want a little preview of a game they’re excited for? Got a few hits from this.

“Ash Ketchum Naked” – This is where things get weird. I have no idea why the hell they’re searching this on WordPress of all places. I’m also not sure why the hell they’d like to see the constantly high asexual 10 year old without clothes on. He hasn’t even hit puberty yet you sick fucks. I got far too many hits from this search term.

“sexy naked pokemon pics of misty dawn” – Self explanatory, only 1 hit from this. (phew)

“may misty dawn” – I’m not sure what to think of this one, it could be innocent, or it could be a search for porn. Only 2 from this.

“pokemon porn” – What a straightforward guy, the man who searched for this knew exactly what he was looking for. But he didn’t find it. I feel bad for him.

“Naked Ash Ketchum” – Imagine how many hits I would get if there were actually pictures of Ash Ketchum naked. I’d be like Cracked, except with naked little boys!

Only one search term had nothing to do with Pokemon, that was “fucking jc penney.”

I’m really curious about why this guy hates JC Penny. I probably won’t be able to sleep tonight. It’s fucking keeping me up.

Not so much of a humor post today, I’ll have something better tomorrow, just thought it was kind of weird that 99% of people get to my blog searching for naked 10 year old Pokemon masters.

I’m off to go watch Mulan II again, it really helps when I want to vomit everything I’ve eaten for the past month out on the floor, very bad movie.

But it’s cool, Mulan I takes Mulan II and hits it in the balls with a sledgehammer while boiling it in a pot of its own tears.

Enough is enough,

-x_____________ out

asdfasdfasdfasdfasdfasdfasdfasdfasdfasdfadogssdfasdfasdfasdfasdfsadfasdfasdfasdfasdfasdfasdf

 

 

 

Blue Raspberry Flavored Shit

I actually haven’t written shit in over a year. I think I’ve been busy with something, but I have no idea what. I’ve been dicking around this whole time. Mostly watching Mega64:Cowpokez over and over again and imitating it. I don’t have a hobby horse, though, so I use a broom. And I’m scared I’ll get arrested so I just stand in the backyard flipping over the same table over and over again. Then I flip off raccoons and shit.

(This is what I actually do)

Anyways, I really like candy, I have no idea what I’d eat without it other than noodles and Korean BBQ, neither of which I can afford. There’s this one flavor I really hate, though, which is called blue raspberry. My friends are always so excited when I get a bag of Jolly Ranchers, always saying, ‘hey, give me the blue raspberry.’ I give them it but I don’t understand why the hell they’d want that piece of shit. It may taste good to them, but even if they tasted good to me, I still wouldn’t eat them.

You know why? It’s because I’ve got something special inside of me, something very special.

They’re called morals.

I don’t eat blue raspberry candy because I don’t eat contradictions. Eating contradictions ultimately will cause you to become a

Incorrect

contradictory person, just like most suspected murderers in Phoenix Wright.

You don’t want to become a murderer, do you? I sure don’t. That’s why I don’t eat anything blue raspberry. Things like Blue Raspberry Jolly Ranchers, Skittles, Laffy Taffy, Airheads. These are bad to eat, unless you want to fucking end up in jail for manslaughter.

Or taste bud slaughter.

Or just slaughter.

Correct

I actually don’t like normal raspberries too much either, but I have to admit, those blue raspberries in the picture look incredibly nasty.

Let me tell you a story about something I did one time that was really bad yet full of justice. Basically, I went to Safeway with some friends and found all the blue raspberry candy. Then I fucked shit up.

We crossed out the “rasp” in “blue raspberry,” effectively making it “blueberry.”

I’m a criminal, I know.

But the whole reason they did this blue raspberry shit was to get a blue candy on the market.

But for some reason they couldn’t think of a flavor, so they made up their own. When they think of “blue” and a “berry,” they think of fucking blue raspberry. WHAT ABOUT BLUEBERRY YOU MOTHER FUCKERS!!?!? THAT’S A REAL GODDAMN BERRY. YOU CAN EAT IT IN REAL LIFE WITHOUT GETTING FOOD POISONING.

God, fuck blue raspberry.

I’m going to go listen to my Mulan soundtrack now, that always cheers me up when I’m thinking of dumb blue raspberries.

-재훈

I’m sorry.

that i haven’t posted in a while. Gotcha didn’t I?

Well being a 14 year old means that you can legally get a job. Yesterday was my first day at work. Just let me tell you, being a cashier is boring. I tried to finish watching Borat, but my “boss” said it was unprofessional. I got up to the part were Borat and Azamat were fighting, naked. Sascha Baron Cohen is amazing. I can’t wait for Bruno. Back on topic, it was very dull. The most interesting thing I saw was a couple. Yesterday was father’s day right?

Man: Is today father’s day?

Me: Yes it is.

Man: I am a father.

Women: No you’re not.

Man: I will be.

*Man slaps his lady’s ass. I laughed inside my head.

As you can see that was the most interesting thing. Being a cashier sucks. FML. Go to school. Don’t do drugs. Or else you’ll end up being a cashier.

People I Would Like To Meet… (Part 1)

Sorry for the limited amount of posts recently.

I’ve been sick and sleeping all day. o.o;;;

So, people I would like to meet,

Sinbad: Legend of the Several Badass Sailors on a Boat

First of all….

Sinbad.

This guy is the most badass sailor ever. Watching his movie is like watching Jason and the Argonauts except Sinbad goes on his quest to find a book, not golden fleece.

This guy goes through hell (literally) to find this freaking book which apparently has the sun inside of it. He fights water whores, a giant turtle and an Articuno all while hitting on some other guy’s future wife.

The best fight was with the Articuno. Sinbad’s girlfriend got picked up after the god of Chaos decided to be a douchebag and make the water around his ship freeze. Sinbad shot himself out of a giant crossbow and then stabbed the mountain with knives until he got to the top. Then, he grabs the girl and snowboards down the mountain, without a snowboard. The Articuno gets buried in rocks and Sinbad rushes off.

Rock throw only does 50 damage, though.... BADASS.

Then, Sinbad uses his crazy kickassness to make his boat able to fly to the realm of chaos. That’s at the end of the earth, where about 5000 ships have fallen off and died, but not his, his ship is held up by the power of several burly men and one Mexican guy who can fly.

And a dog. A dog strong enough to hold back several burly men when they want to go have sex with water whores.

Those are whores, made of water.

If I could meet Sinbad, I would fist bump with him. Then, we’d hit up Chuck e’ Cheeses.

Where a man can be a man.

-DongSaeng out

(I’ll be out from today to Sunday. Come rob my house.)

Help

Will anyone sell me/give me (preffered) their unwanted Ruby/Sapphire/Emerald game?

I’m serious.

-DongSaeng. AWAAYYYYY!

Ash Ketchum

Ash Ketchum has been accused of being gay so many times. Is he gay? Is he straight?

The correct answer to both of those questions is “no”.

He likes balls in some sense

Ash simply has no sexual interests at all.

This kid would rather run through the forest catching Pokemon than anything else because all he wants to do is become a Pokemon master. He doesn’t want to cure cancer or marry a beautiful girl, he just wants to catch one of each Pokemon and stuff them into Bill’s PC and

Stop pulling his goddamn ear

never see them again. That’s why they put Brock in the series.

Brock is the ladies man of Pokemon, he and Ash balance out. No one else in Pokemon gives a crap about any of the women that exist in the Pokemon universe.  He will hit on every single Office Jenny, Nurse Joy or any other girl that appears in the series. He’s the guy many girls would want to marry, too. He actually enjoys cooking delicious food, he’ll love you as long as you remain female and he’s loving and caring enough to take care of like 100 little brother’s and sisters. Of course, he isn’t allowed to have a relationship. Always, some girl on Ash’s magical journey will pinch Brock’s ear and pull him away from the girl he’s hitting on because he has a commitment to hang around with a 10 year old nerdy Pokemon trainer, that’s what all 20 year old people love to do. Sometimes he gets girls, but that’s called a filler episode.

But here, look at this:

From left to right: May, Misty, Dawn. If you didn't know that, something's wrong with you

They start with Ash hanging out with Misty.  There’s nothing wrong with her, she doesn’t look too bad and to try and satisfy Ash, she’s the leader of a gym, that must make her a good Pokemon trainer, right? Isn’t that what Ash should be looking for in a girl, especially the Pokemon part. Still, all he wants to say is:

“LOOK, IT’S A PIDGEY WE GOTTA CATCH IT!!! LETS CATCH THE PIDGEY!!!!!!”

Misty: “Ash, I have a crush on you…”

Ash: “LOOK AT MY WEEDLE IT’S SO COOL”

Misty: “Ash, I-I really like you.”

Ash: “LOOK MY PIDGEY LEARNED HOW TO TAKE A SHIT ON THE TOILET”

Misty: “Ash, you’re weird.”

That’s why Misty left. Then came the girl who runs around in tight clothing and her annoying brother. They weren’t good enough for him either, even when May got into a bathing suit every time she saw a water bottle.

Ash's response: "I CAUGHT A PINSIR"

Finally, Dawn came around. Dawn is still there and they gave her a skirt that’s goes down about 2 inches below her waist.

Dawn probably has a crush on Ash, too, which makes me feel really bad for Brock.

On Valentines Day, Ash probably gets chocolate from all the girls. Then he feeds it to his Pokemon.

Brock, getting any chocolate at all would be eternaly grateful and punch his onyx in the face if it asked for some. His fist wouldn’t hurt, but that onyx would be wishing the red stuff flowing out of his face was onyx milk with food coloring in it.

What a Korean (except he can ask out girls).

Actually, Korean/Mexican (tan, 5,000 siblings).

-Ash, learn to love

Girls, get naked for Brock

Someone, add those to the 10 commandments

DongSaeng

Dammit

Who the hell posted the movie post? I wasn’t done yet.

Being Native American… (Read Being Korea First)

I’m Korean.

I can’t ask girls out for my life and even if I could, talking to them would be like taking my foot, shoving it in my ear and hopping around in

Better than asking girls out

an erupting volcano.

I seriously wish my brother hadn’t pissed off that fucking volcano god.

My brother was driving his toyota down the street and some jackass cut him off. When my brother drove by the car, he flipped the driver off. The driver rolls down the window, holy fuck, it’s the volcano god, driving a Hummer H3. He thought he was going to get his ass kicked, but instead, the volcano god told every single fucking volcano to fuck us up every time we asked a girl out. That applies to all Koreans.

Yes, even you

Korean people do make great boyfriends, though. Just watching how my brother treats girls makes me wonder why girls aren’t coming from all over the nation to ask me out or just give me a high five.

Hm… He actually only had to ask out one girl in his life, that one was hard for him. He hid his number in a book he asked her to help him find (she worked at Barnes and Nobles).

I wanted to use something nerdier to ask a girl out, like this nerdy crap I don’t understand:

01010111 01101001 01101100 01101100 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100111 01101111 00100000 01101111 01110101 01110100 00100000 01110111 01101001 01110100 01101000 00100000 01101101 01100101 00100000 00101010 00101010 00101010 00101010 00101010 00111111

Gets you rejected in a second, no more volcano hoppin for me.

But here are ways I’ve seriously considered asking a girl out through:

• A code of my invention
• A really long and complicated scheme that would mess up at some point and I would need to ask her out on my own
• An anonymous love note
• A bear with chainsaws for arms

I really don’t think these things will get me rejected, though. You know why? Since everyone that goes to an APP school is automatically a nerd. It doesn’t matter if you pee money and wipe your ass with Benjamins, wear the nicest clothes ever, flirt with all the girls or anything like that. You’re here, you’re a nerd for the day, the week, the month and the rest of the year. If the math classroom has Pokemon drawn on the whiteboard, you go to a nerd school. If people have over 100% in math, you’re in a nerd school. If  you are a nerd, you’re in a nerd school.

What a NERD

How did I get so distracted from my original topic?

Hyukminn will teach me about girls, right?

Right?

SNAKKEEEE?

-I guess I’m Otacon today

DongSaeng out

Pr0 H4X

It’s just so damn terrible when you enter a server, you get WTFPWNT BY HACKERS.

asshole using illuzhook v1.4 multi-hack

All I want is to fucking get out the building finish my damn objective and RESCUE THE DAMN HOSTIES or plant the bomb, but NO that hacker has to camp there waiting for you to come and BOOM HEADSHOT YOU THROUGH THE EFFIN WALL. They rack up those ridiculous scores

And you cant do anything about it. Watch this guys skillz, this is what gaming is cracking down to on the PC…

Doesn’t it piss you off? You just started the round, you already got killed by the asshole hacker in the beginning of last round, and now you just got killed by him again. THROUGH THE WALL. SO NOW WHAT DO YOU DO? YOU WAIT ANOTHER 8 MINUTES FOR THE ROUND TO BE OVER. I understand you just downloaded hacks, but whats the fun of an easy as balls game? Everything. Hacking is fun, sure, if you look logically at it, it would seem to be a bigass waste of time, but hacking I must emphasize is insanely fun.

• Kill the enemy’s team before your’s is even done buying guns
• Running around the map at 8x the average speed
• Camping at a gayass spot and knowing the n00b is gonna pop out before you can actually see it
• Aiming at someone else and hitting someone else entirely different in the face from across the map
• Killing your team, and then the enemy’s team
• Having the most ridiculous score ever
  

  what an asshole

  As you can see above Lin says WHY THE FUCK AM I HERE??? I’ll let you decide that one.

  

  aww crap..

Welcome to Pokemon FREAKING Tower

I hate Pokemon Tower so much.

I hate Pokemon Masters but loooovee Team Rocket

It’s got ghosts, chanellers and an incredibly pissed off Marowak.

The Marowak lets Team Rocket go right by, not regarding them as intruders. But you, someone who spends more time with his Pokemon than with his mom, cannot be allowed onto the top floor of the freaking tower of Pokemon buried like 5,000 freaking years ago. No, first you need to beat your rival, kick the asses of about 15 chanelers and beat Team Rocket in their fucking casino before you’re  allowed to even challenge the Marowak without your level 100, 12′ 9″ Pokemon who gets scared out of it’s pants without a Silph Scope. That’s why I train my Pokemon to be blind.

When I catch a Pokemon, the first thing I do is stab its eyes out so it won’t get scared of the fucking ghosts. Still, it doesn’t ever work. Even when I force an Abra’s eyes open, just to stab

IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU

them out, it still gets scared. To scared to even use teleport and run away. What the fuck is this shit?

That’s not the only thing about the tower. The dialog spoken by every channeler sounds like the writer decided to take two knifes, stab them into both of his eyes and then bang his fist against the keyboard until it breaks. That’s why it costs $40 for the piece of dialog that each channeler says.

(Not much else to say… I need to play Pokemon Tower more…)

I guess I like stabbing eyes.

-I’m out

(Bad post, sorry… Look at this, instead)

:D This is a terrible book to write

cuchini anti cameltoes

American women are too fucking insecure and too fucking self-conscious. There are over 32,000 boob jobs performed monthly, in 2006. The numbers are just going to rise up.

“Barbie Dolls, 2008
60×80″

Depicts 32,000 Barbies, equal to the number of elective breast augmentation surgeries performed monthly in the US in 2006.

Partial zoom:

Detail at actual print size:
“

Pretty shocking. Stolen from here. You should check it out, it’s pretty cool.

Imagine if everyone of those barbies is a girl who just got a boobjob. TOO FUCKING SELF CONSCIOUS. EVEN HOT GIRLS GET BOOB JOBS.

Some girls even get butt jobs. Plastic surgery really lives up, to the name because it turn you plastic. Even men are getting more plastic surgery. It’s stupid.

Now with all that shit like pube shaving and Brazillian waxing. . .

Naturally, you get cameltoes.

A Camel's Toe

What’s wrong with cameltoes? It’s like having a boner for guys. You don’t have to be that self conscious.

You know what’s up with women? They like to put pads on everything they see, like their vaginas. Now they put pads under their panties. Meet the Cuchini.

Disgusting.

“The Cuchini is a comfortable, light-weight material that adheres to any undergarment (panties, bikini, sports attire, etc).  It smoothes the ridges of a woman’s mons pubis(What the fuck is that?)  area providing a smooth and camouflaged appearance. This eliminates what is commonly known as “Camel Toe.”

The Cuchini products are designed by women to provide comfort and convenience.

As we have evolved, hair down there is a thing of the past.  As the landing strip and Brazilian wax have become prominent in today’s world, there is no bush for the cush. And though Camel Toe may be a  hot topic… it’s not to the gal sporting it!”

The Cuchini Pad

The Cuchini Pad is a product used to smooth the ridges of a woman’s mons pubis area, providing a sleek and camouflaged appearance.  The Cuchini eliminates what is commonly known as “Camel Toe.”

Direction

Place “Cuchini Pad” into bikini, lingerie, or sports attire, narrow side facing down, and adjust to personal preference.  For a more secure placement two-sided tape is included.”

I seriously did not see a difference.

They’re 2 for 15 dollars.

They’re slogan is even “our lips or sealed”. By that I think they mean vagina lips. o-o It’s even called the Cuchini. Is that like cooch in Italian?

I fucking hate society. Look at yourselves.

http://www.cuchini.com/

Being Korean

Hey, sorry there was no post yesterday

I’m a Korean. I love Korea. I love Korean food. I love Korean girls. I love Korea in general. Being Korean is great, it’s a little like, what do you call it, oh yeah,

A coincedence? I think not.

Oh yeah, I also love Starcraft. All Koreans love Starcraft. It’s the national sport there. What do you do if you live in Korea and also hate Starcraft? Simple, don’t live in Korea.

BUILD MORE PYLONS, SON

Hm. So, Korean parents, like all other Asian parents, care so very much about grades. So much, actually, that they seem like pylons, which are basically the foundation of a Starcraft society. To construct anything, you must first consruct those mother fucking pylons.

A+ MOTHA FUCKER

“Ohh… So you want to ‘chill’ with your ‘homies’, eh? WELL CONSTRUCT PYLONS FIRST, DAMMIT!!”

I’m pretty sure my mom said that to be once, actually, except instead of “construct pylons” she said “get your grades up”. See what I mean?

Also, Korean parents seem to lean towards girls a bit more, I don’t know how that’s like Starcraft, unless a girl is represented by an Ultralisk. Backed by the power of two angry Korean parents, you don’t want to mess with one of those.

Being Korean is about as fun as playing Starcraft. Since there aren’t that many Koreans, hanging out with someone who burns with Korean pride makes people feel unique. I bet there are less than 10 Koreans at my school. Half of them are probably boys. So if girls are looking to be original, I’ve got a 1 to 4 chance they’ll ask me out first, sweet.

A Korean girl - don't worry, they get better with age

Yup, that’s right, I want to be asked out by a girl. You see, Korean guys are shy as fuck. They can’t ask a girl out with turning so red, they stop looking Korean and start the Native American flow. That’s the number one reason all the girls we like go off and get hitched with white guys and we get stuck behind sucking dicks in the McDonald’s bathroom, hoping a girl will accidentally walk into the stall and you’ll fall in love. Which of course, never happens because even though girls love McDonald’s bathrooms, they’ll somehow get the idea you’re gay because you’re sucking men’s dicks there.

This is weird to me since even though I do the most retarded things, I can’t talk one-on-one well with any girl except my mom. My mom is not a love interest. Neither is my little sister or any of my older sisters. I can have one-on-one talks with them, but no, when Korean people are  born (anywhere), Kim Jong Fucking Il comes can takes there ability to talk with girls away, you know why? Because he didn’t become a movie director, that’s why. Similar to why Hitler became what he became, he got rejected from art school. Art school, man, chill out, there’s no reason to kill like 10 million people.

Missiles Versus Aliens, Rated G, by Pixar and Kim Jong Il

Just give Kim Jong Il a movie deal! Maybe he’ll stop playing with nuclear bombs and being a dictator and shit. Come to think about it, a movie by him would be great. It would be called “Missile+House” and that’s all it would be for 90 minutes. Film of the fucking year.

Oh wow, look  what happened to the Ultralisk! See? It was just a phase.

Ask me out. Oh yah, you can't, bitch

Hmm.. To finish this post up, lets talk about the name “Chae”, the name given to me by my parents.

Well, it’s a girl’s name.

I think that explains itself.

-Dong Saeng out

Mercy Mercedes – Casio Rodeo review

I usually dislike power pop musically. Every song sounds the same. However it’s pleasing to my non-musically cultivated ears. I go for a little Motion City Soundtrack(Probably because Mark Hoppus is the producer) Pop is catchy, and that’s why we like. The band I’m reviewing is Mercy Mercedes, from whom a  power pop obsessed fanboy that I just happen to know, likes.

Mercy Mercedes sounds like you’re begging a Mercedes not to run you over.

What I though. . .

The band name sounds like Hey Mercedes, but it’s only much worse and uglier too. Hey Mercedes is pretty good, I think this band is not.

"Hey Mercedes(LOL Double Entrende), we're decent looking guys."

Guy in middle is looking at girl at way right's tits.

From left to right.

• 

  Doing It Wrong

  Yellow-haired guy -  Since you look kinda weird, I’m calling you Princess. Stop trying to be “cool”. You’re doing it wrong and trying to hard. No offense, but your facial expression tells me you’re taking a fucking shit. The way you angle your head shows a slight double chin. The peace sign is outdated and lame. Did I mention your hair stinks? Wow, American Eagle, how original. I saw a really fat girl at American Eagle once, and you sorta of look like her. Maybe you are her with crazy plastic surgery(you looked better before :( )Yellow guy, your fashion stinks. The only thing that’s going for you might be your personality. If I was a girl I’d rate you a 69 out of 1 billion.

• Semi-Bald Guy – You look like Justin Timberlake.
  

  This is actually Justin Timberlake. Also voted most stylish man by GQ.

  Don’t take that as a compliment, because it isn’t. Justin Timber is the creator of musically acclaimed albums such as Futuresex/LoveSounds(He’s good at grammar). Let me do a quick review of FutureSex/LoveSounds.

  • FutureSex/LoveSounds
  • He sounds  like a fucking girl. No grown man could make sounds that high. He also has insane lyrical talent, which could only be born from coming out of such a critically-acclaimed band like ‘N-Sync.  He just fucking repeats “what goes around comes around and goes around”. I get the point, Justin.  That is some talent from some genius. He’s also incredibly genius because he dated Britney Spears. Nice “wardrobe malfunction” too. I give this album a mango out of a papaya.

  Going back to you semi-baldy guy, I’m nicking-naming you Sandwich, because I just had a sandwich. However it was not a dick sandwich like you, Sandwich. By the way, why’s bread getting fucking expensive? Your style is the classic “douche-bag” neck. Wearing it just screams DOUCHEBAG!!!! Why’s he smiling? Because 1 from the right guy has his arm on him. But your face is funny, and you have a nice smile. You kinda look like a monkey. I rate you a 6.5 out of donut flash drive.

• Middle guy - You are checking out guy in far right’s junk/tits (what ever you prefer). I’m going to call you Snoopy, because you’re snooping to see his “wild” thang. Here we have a “do ask do tell” policy at PissedOffKorean, so I would like to tell. (I’m not saying being homo/bisexual is a bad thing) As for your hair, it’s parted way too fucking much so you’re doing it wrong. Your shirt is terrible. It looks like a stoned five-year old(don’t give your children drugs) took a fucking white and yellow crayon on black paper, and tried to write MessHead(a shitty t-shit company). I’m pretty convinced with your slitty eyes, and asian-like(NOT ASIAN) hair, you’re trying to be asian. If you’re doing that you are no better than Miley Cyrus. I give you a negative walnut out of a testicle for insulting Asians. If you’re not, you still get that score because I happen to think you’re ugly.
• Bald Guy – You’re bald, and bald is always in fashion. Like Shaolin monks!
  

  Pictured: Baldy's alter ego, Monkman.

  Shaolin monks have pretty good fashion sense. Since you’re bald, I’m nicknaming you Baldy. It’s a pretty good name for a bald person, considering you are bald. You also have your arm around Sandwich/Semi-Bald Guy/Justin Timberlake cosplayer. That’s a personal display of affection or PDA as I like to call it. The affection may be romantic or platonic. It all depends. You have a nice shirt Baldy. The navy blue contrasts with the shininess of your head, because bald people have shiny heads. You also have pointy ears. Maybe I should call you Elf. I rate you a bald head out of 4 bald heads.

• 

  He looks like Batman.

  Aston Kutcher – I was an avid fan of that 70′s show, and looking at this Ashton Kutcher cosplayer has made me want to see this more. Ashton Kutcher has a funny name, like Asher Roth. They should make Aston Kutcher into a WoW town too. It would be awesome, and Fez and the Butterfly Effect guy will be NPCs. Back on topic, this guy is a shittier cosplayer than Sandwich. He barely resembles Aston Kutcher, as he is supposed to be so I’m going to call him that. He also has a douchebag  shirt like Sandwich, except it’s blue which is to color of the ocean, and piss goes into the ocean, so it’s dumb. He also further exemplifies the dumb trait by wearing a Hawaiian necklace, when he is from North Carolina, and the fact that the sharktooth is probably from the ocean and piss goes into the ocean so it’s dumb. His hair also looks like a girl’s pubes. Girls can pull off his hair better than guys can. If I was lesbian, 2 out of the square root of infinite.
  

• The Dumbfuck Photoshop Artist -  You my friend, are a dumbass. The picture is too bright. Why the fuck did you do that? If I get fucking epilepsy, I’m suing your ass. Neon green with pink doesn’t usually match either. Makes it look like a stupid watermelon. Green scanlines, and pink spaint splatter. Is that the best you can do? I seriously hope this isn’t official. Wait! Yes it fucking is. The title is “Let’s Relive the Eighties”.

“December 30, 2007 4:10 PM
awesome pic! it is my computer wallpaper =)”

The pic is her fucking wallpaper. All the comments are stupid too.

That was exactly 1001 words and I said shit about the band. I’m sorry, band. Oh well, the actually factually review will be premiering shortly.

Mercy Mercedes – Casio Rodeo EP.

What's up with the DDR things?Looks like it's made from the same guy who made the picture above. Album Art: 5/10

At first I thought, this album was going to be about graphing calculators, and bulls, but apparently it is not so.

Unrelated

Unrelated

So, Mercy Mercedes hail from Greensboro, North Carolina. They’re like the heroes of the music scene I guess. But are Princess, Sandwich, Snoopy, Baldy, and Aston Kutcher make good pop music? You will find out by the end of the review.

1. Dr. Huxtable – I don’t particularly like this band, but even I listened to it 30 times or so today. I guess it’s very catchy. However, it’s very braggy and boasty as they’re basically saying their musical dicks are two feet long(the size of blink-182′s, radio head’s musically dick is at least 5 feet) which they aren’t. It starts off with two kids saying how good the band is and that’s basically all it says. One of the best tracks on this EP. However the bad part about this song? Nothing to do with Bill Cosby.
2. Shiver Me Timbers – Sounds like a bad All Time Blow song. Not saying ATL is good but . . . Should have more pirate in it.
3. Get It Darlin’ – No one says darlin’ anymore, it’s very outdated, because there are awesomer terms to use. The same is with this song. Easily forgettable.
4. The Perfect Scene – Pretty catchy. This song could easily make them breakthrough and put them on the spotlight. The vocals easily grab your attention, and the chorus is extremely catchy. The chorus has been running rampant through my head all day. Better than any of All Time Blow or other bands are putting out.
5. Here We Are – Loving the acoustic strums. They complement the guy’s voice.
6. Revolution – Shit song means shit to shitty me. Sorry :(

Looking at it as a EP, it’s nothing new, no originality.

They got just signed to the Militia group, so you’ll see them all commercializeeed soon enough. The producer was Paul Levitt who worked with The Hint, Cute is What We Aim For, The Cab, and All Time Blow.

Bottom line, if you like power pop, you’ll love this band. But I don’t so HAH!.

Vocals – 8 Pretty sweet voice actually. Sounds like the guy from Valencia.

Musicianship – 6 They’re okay with the synth, guitar drums bass are lacking though.

Lyrics – 7 Not so bad, but not good.

Originality – 4 NOTHING NEW.

Average = 62.5% or a D-. If you want to read a better and less humorous by Steve Hendereson@ AP.NET click here.

Here’s what FuckThatBand.com have to say.

“

I would rather eat my baby brother for lunch than listen to Mercy Mercedes.

O noes. I hope mom doesn’t read my blog or I will soooooooooooo be grounded.”